The Avengers and the Media
by Hinn-Raven
Summary: Vines and YouTube and Documentaries, oh my! The adventures of the Avengers, their friends and family, and public perception. Post Winter Soldier.


The GIF of Steven Colbert feeling up Captain America's bicep becomes an internet sensation within seconds of it happening.

The GIF of Steve Rogers turning to the camera, looking right at it, and saying "no homo" in a perfect deadpan almost breaks the internet.

* * *

The camera flickers on, opening into small, beige painted room. The camera sits on a desk—the wall immediately behind it is mostly taken up by a bookshelf full of paperback literature classics.

Sam Wilson sits right in front of the camera; he is the one controlling everything. He has a look of resigned amusement on his face. On his left is Steve Rogers, who has a goatee doodled on his face with red and blue sharpie. Behind him, leaning against the bookshelf, is Bucky Barnes, whose arm is painted pink and is covered in refrigerator magnets. Natasha Romanoff is on Sam's right, smirking and wearing a glittery golden tiara.

"This is my life now," Sam informs the camera, looking bemused.

* * *

The video is a fuzzy, poor quality thing, focusing on a New York skyline from a remarkably high point of view. The camera turns, revealing the holder to be Spider-Man, hanging from his feet from Stark Tower.

"Okay, let's go," he says, whispering. He starts running along the walls of Stark/Avengers Tower, the camera bouncing up and down as he does so. A head pokes out of a window—it's Tony Stark.

"Hey, Web-Head!" He starts to yell, but there's a _thwip_! sound, and white, gooey spider webs attach themselves to Tony's face. Stark yells, and claws at his face, and Spider-Man laughs.

* * *

"We've got it!" Doctor Jane Foster, looks up at the camera, beaming. "We've got signal! Someone's trying to message us!"

"Us, as in, Planet Earth?" The voice behind the camera says. "Not, like, us, as in, Tony's putting out an All Avengers Bulletin again."

"Planet Earth, Darcy," Jane says, looking like she's going to squeal out loud. "Okay, let's tune this…"

_"If you like pina coladas_

_And getting caught in the rain_

_If you're not into health food_

_If you have half a brain…"_

"Are the aliens _Rick-Rolling _us?" Darcy demands, laughing. The camera bounces with her.

"They can't be!" Jane says, shaking her head frantically, "We haven't sent that song out into space, it doesn't make sense…" She grabs the radio attached to the machine. "Hello? This is Doctor Jane Foster, from Earth. Is anyone there?"

The music stops abruptly, and there's a long, painful pause.

Then:

"I am Groot?" The radio says, and Jane and Darcy stare at each other.

"What's a Groot?" Darcy asks.

* * *

"Okay, okay, say it again." The camera focuses on Clint Barton, who sits at a bar, slumped over. His forehead is rested against the green granite of the counter, and his eyes are closed. He has a Band-Aid on one cheek, and he looks completely defeated.

"I _said_," he groans, eyes still shut, "I lost the name Hawkeye to a ten year old girl in a game of darts. Happy?"

There's a burst of laughter from behind the camera, and Clint's eyes snap open, and he realizes he's being recorded. "Oh, fuck you Barnes," and he lunges. The camera gets knocked out of Bucky's hands, falling to the ground, upside down, as Clint and Bucky start to wrestle on the floor.

* * *

"Hi, I'm Jennifer Walters," a short, mousy looking black woman says, her braids pulled into a complicated twist on top of her head.

"Hi, I'm Bruce Banner," an unkempt looking white man in a lab coat says, fiddling with his glasses.

"And I'm Amadeus Cho!" A skinny Chinese teenager concludes, grinning broadly at the camera. "Oh, and this is Kirby!" A small coyote pup pokes his head up at the sound of his name, whining inquisitively.

"Welcome to the Lab Files, in which we explain complicated things and try not to be boring," Jen says, smiling.

"One of them might turn green and angry at any given point; it's never boring," Amadeus whispers to the camera.

"We heard that," the cousins chorus, rolling their eyes.

"So! Our audience wants to know," Amadeus continues, looking right at the camera, grinning. "What are we going to do to Tony Stark today?"

"We're not doing anything to Tony today," Bruce protests feebly.

"Richards is in the building," Jen says thoughtfully. "We could get him instead."

"How are you allowed in any court room?" Bruce despairs.

"Top of my class. Plus they need me to persecute super-villains," Jen says.

* * *

The interview of a brunette Black Widow with a French accent feeding completely false information to a news reporter gets one million hits on YouTube within the day.

"You know, one day you'll have to actually tell them the truth," Steve says idly, flipping pancakes onto a plate and handing it to Bucky, who digs in, not even bothering with a fork.

"Eh," Natasha says, shrugging, Sam's feet in her lap.

* * *

Clint Barton's appearance on SNL was record breaking in terms of people watching.

Also in terms of the fact that he managed to set fire to the set.

Luckily, they had been forewarned.

* * *

Carol Danvers makes a popular YouTube series called "Cats in Outer Space".

It mainly involves Chewie hissing at aliens and enjoying zero-gravity.

She is very smug about it having more hits than any of the other Avenger channels.

* * *

The video of Tony Stark and his robots dancing to "I Like to Move it, Move it", as recorded by Colonel James "Rhodey" Rhodes, circulated so widely and frequently that Tony Stark couldn't get rid of it.

"I hate you," he says to his best friend, scrolling through the Youtube comments and making pained expressions.

"No you don't," Rhodey replies, petting Butterfingers on the head.

* * *

The cell phone footage Pepper Potts wearing a suit of Iron Man Armor ("It's not Iron Man Armor! The color scheme's all wrong, can't they see that! I totally made it just for Pepper, can't they tell that?" "It's okay, Tony, really."), punching out Justin Hammer is submitted to _America's Funniest Home Videos_.

It's also photoshopped to have Justin Hammer labelled "patriarchy" and is used on Tumblr for feminist arguments. Pepper loves it.

* * *

Lady Sif's brief, but fantastic, appearance, in the wrestling world is, to quote Darcy, _awesome_.

Unfortunately, Sif's Asgardian strength was ruled to be cheating, so she couldn't go back after the first match, but it was still amazingly epic.

* * *

The picture of Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier, the former weapon of Hydra, the terror of SHIELD, and Avenger, with a kitten on his head, makes the front page of the _Daily Bugle_.

"Parker," Bucky says slowly, looking right at the unrepentant Spider-Man, who is eating toast across from him. "I am going to kill you."

"You have to get through Gwen and MJ first," Peter claims, grinning.

The girls nod, smiling sweetly at Bucky.

"No fair," he complains, but doesn't make a move.

* * *

"Natasha!" Janet Van Dyne, part time fashion designer extraordinaire, part time scientist, part time super hero, hugs Natasha on the red carpet. "I hope you like the dress?"

"It's perfect," Natasha assures her. She's wearing a long, elegant black dress, with short sleeves and a train. All designed for combat, of course. A belt with her symbol on it graces her waist, and it's also on a broach on her right shoulder.

"I'm so glad," Janet says, beaming.

The headlines of the tabloids read "HEARTBROKEN AVENGERS—BLACK WIDOW'S LESBIAN LOVE AFFAIR".

Janet and Natasha laugh until they cry.

* * *

A little girl, approximately age ten, stares at the camera. She wears a purple sweater and has her hair in a messy ponytail, and holds four apples in her hands.

"Okay, Katie-Kate," Clint Barton says, and the camera turns to face him. He has his bow in hand, his quiver strapped to his back, but he's wearing a Captain America t-shirt and jeans with holes and paint stains. "So, just like we practiced, right?"

"Right," Kate nods, and begins to juggle the apples. In the background, the video begins to play _Afro Circus_.

"Okay," Clint draws his bow, nocking four arrows on his bow. "Let's do this."

He looses the arrows, and all four apples are knocked out of Kate's hands, pinned to the wall.

Clint and Kate cheer, and Clint picks Kate up and swings her around, laughing.

The camera zooms in on the apples, each pinned to the wall by an arrow.

* * *

"Welcome back," Jen Walters says to the camera, Amadeus, Kirby and Bruce by her side. "This time, we're doing a question and answer section, answering some of our favorite questions left in the comments."

"Amadeus—how did you get an internship with Bruce Banner?" Amadeus reads. He grins at the camera. "Easy! I got targeted by Hydra and rescued myself before the Avengers got there!"

"There were explosions," Bruce reminisces.

"It was pretty awesome," Jen agrees.

* * *

Thor beams at the camera. "Hello again, citizens of Midgard! I continue my journey across the land of America today! Thank you all for your kind comments and suggestions—I cannot wait to see some of the attractions you have told me about!"

Darcy swings the camera to face herself, her floppy hat falling into her face. "Today," she tells the audience, grinning broadly, "Thor, Frandal, Valstagg, Hogan, and Sif are going to see who can find a bear and ride it first!"

"They wanted to kill it," Jane says quietly, studying a notebook. "But they couldn't get a permit."

"So we shall ride the beast instead!" Thor enthuses, smiling widely.

Darcy turns the camera back to herself. "This will be _awesome_," she whispers.

* * *

Carol Danvers meets Kamala Khan at ComicCon. The young girl sees through Carol's disguise (it's her own costume, but no one else has noticed, so it must be a pretty good disguise!) and starts to squeal, and Carol desperately shushes her, signs an autograph, and takes a selfie with the thirteen year old to quiet her.

"I want to be a super-hero like you," Kamala tells her, grinning from ear to ear.

"I bet you will be," Carol assures her, smiling at her self-proclaimed "biggest fan".

* * *

The camera focuses on Sam Wilson, who looks disheveled and tired. Steve has a white haired child clinging to his back, and Bucky holds a crying five year old in his arms, looking terrified.

"We are never babysitting for Wanda again," Sam tells the camera. Natasha nods emphatically. "I don't care if the only other option is Magneto and he will teach the children how to swear in Yiddish and give them too much candy, it is not happening."

"I don't think Erik would teach the children to swear," Steve says, trying to remove Tommy without upsetting the young mutant.

"That's what Pietro said when he was convincing us," Sam says firmly.

"Pietro's biased," Steve tries to say.

"Doesn't matter," Bucky says, looking slightly manic. "If Wanda dumps them on us again, we're sending them to Xavier's."

"None of us," Natasha snarls, "Are _ever_ having children."

"Is this a bad time to tell you I adopted the kid who beat me at darts?" Clint asks, sticking his head into Sam's room. A small, brunette child pokes her head in afterwards, an expression of curiosity on her face.

Natasha and Sam's heads meet the desk in unison.

* * *

Loki's trial is national headlines for weeks.

Jennifer Walter's arguments, although the court is closed to the press, are rumored to have driven the god of lies to tears. Or, according to other sources, involved her hulking out, and driving him two-feet into the marble floor of the court room.

Tony Stark grins at the cameras when asked. "No comment," he says, flashing his teeth and flipping down his sunglasses.

* * *

Steve, Sam, Bucky and Natasha sit on a couch, staring at a sixty-inch plasma screen TV. Steve and Bucky sit side by side, leaning forward, staring, horrified at what is playing out before them. Natasha has her head on Sam's lap and her feet on Steve's, a bowl of popcorn in her hands, just close enough for Sam to reach. Sam is leaning back, trying to hold back laughter.

"DO YOU THINK THE A ON MY HELMET IS FOR FRANCE?" The on-screen Captain America shouts.

Steve stares at the television wide-eyed. "Wha—"

"Don't question it," Sam advises serenely, eating popcorn.

"Can we skip to the part with the eagle?" Natasha says, bored.

"No. He needs to experience this fully," Sam scolds.

"What is even happening," Bucky says. "I don't think World War II happened like that."

"I don't think so either," Steve agrees.

"Suspension of disbelief, guys," Sam says, still munching on the popcorn as Captain America and a twelve year old Bucky mow through Hydra with a Gatling gun mounted on a 1960s car.

"There is no disbelief here!" Bucky yells as fake-Peggy dies in fake-Steve's arms. "There is only this shitty movie!"

* * *

"We did it!" Jane Foster cheers, staring at the bright white beam of energy being shot up into the sky by their machine.

"We broke time and space!" Tony Stark yells, turning to beam at the camera, held by Dum-E.

"And the laws of physics!" Jane says, arms in the air.

Tony and Jane high five.

For science.

* * *

The camera focuses on a faded, black and white wedding photo.

"Mom and Dad had been married five months when Dad got the call to report for the draft," the camera fades to Sarah Bradley. "Mom was just pregnant with me when it happened, but Dad really did believe in his country." The camera fades to a picture of Isaiah Bradley, wearing his army uniform, smiling at the camera. "So he went to war. He never really came back."

"My husband," Faith Bradley wears her hijab and a black dress. Her face is soft and wrinkled, but her eyes are bright and intelligent. Her voice is clear and low, and she looks at an old photo album in her lap, "Went to war, knowing he wouldn't be treated fairly. All the boys knew it. They thought they'd be peeling potatoes, doing dirty work, that sort of thing. No one expected the experiments. We never thought that they could be _that_ cruel."

"Unlike Steve Rogers," the narrator says, a photo of Captain America in his USO garb emerging on the screen, "Bradley and the other soldiers of his unit were given an imperfect formula, reverse-engineered from Steve Roger's blood."

"The experiments," Bruce Banner, grim faced. His name appears below him, identifying him as an expert on Project Rebirth. "On the African-America soldiers were never meant to create a super-soldier. They wanted to refine the serum, get closer to what had been used on Captain Rogers, before they turned to testing on white soldiers. That Bradley survived was rare. That he actually _got_ the results he got was incredible. Isaiah Bradley was never properly tested, but I believe that he was _stronger_ than Steve Rogers and had more of the physical advantages, even if he did not receive all of the cognitive advantages that emerged from the Eskrine serum."

"When Isaiah finally came home," Faith tells the camera thoughtfully, "We were kept under watch at all times. We weren't supposed to tell the story. We were supposed to just forget what happened to us. What they stole from us. But how could we?"

The camera pans to a family photo; Faith and Isaiah sit next to each other, with their daughter and son on either side of them. Josiah and Sarah each hold a child.

* * *

They never talk about Thor's appearance on MythBusters.

"But it was a most enjoyable experience!" Thor protests, whenever Tony tries to get him to stop talking about it.

"Tony's been trying to get on there for years," Pepper confides. "He's just jealous."

"Not Thor's fault there are more alien myths to bust than Iron Man myths," Darcy notes, rolling her eyes.

* * *

Tony Stark is covered in purple paint.

"_Clint!_" He yells, and storms off to find the archer.

Bruce frowns at the camera. "He didn't realize it was us?"

"Well, purple _is_ more Clint's color," Jen says thoughtfully.

"We wear purple too!" Bruce protests.

"Eh, people still think green when they think "Hulk"" Amadeus says absently. "He'll figure it out soon enough." He zooms the camera in on the paint now on the floor. "Mission accomplished!"

* * *

Melinda May beats up Doctor Doom on national television.

It is awesome.

* * *

Christine Everhart sits down with Peggy Carter.

"Thank you for meeting with me," she says.

Peggy nods. Her hair is silver with age, but her expression is as firm as it was the day she met Steve Rogers.

"How did you end up involved in Project Rebirth?" Christine says, moving right to business. "I understand it was a difficult to get, as a woman."

"I was originally sent to Germany to retrieve Doctor Eskrine," Peggy says. "Doctor Eskrine was remarkable in his attitudes of the day. He rejected a lot of the conventions of the day—he never believed that my gender affected my ability to do my duty. He was impressed by my abilities during that initial mission, and he officially requested my assistance in the training and recruitment for Project Rebirth. It was rather difficult—most of the men in the army were unused to the idea of working under a woman. But they eventually got used to it," a small smile plays at the corner of the former agent's mouth.

"Did you have any input in the final selection?"

"Not officially," Peggy says, folding her hands on her lap. "But Doctor Eskrine did ask me if I had noticed anything in the attitudes of the men—in their attitudes towards me and women in general. I think that might have been a part of why Doctor Eskrine wanted me to work on the project—he wanted to ensure that any overtly misogynistic candidates were weeded out. The serum did not just emphasize physical and mental characteristics, it also emphasized emotions and attitudes. Doctor Eskrine did not wish to see traits like that carried over—he didn't want another Schmidt."

"And do you believe Steve Rogers fit that criteria?"

"Steve wasn't perfect," Peggy says immediately. "Far from it. But he understood, far better than most men, the experience of having doors shut to you, of being judged for things you can't control. And that made him the best candidate for the Project."

* * *

Sam Wilson sits in front of the camera, a child in his lap.

"Hello," Sam says, looking rather exhausted. "I'm Sam Wilson, and this America Chavez."

"Interdimensional kicker of butt!" The girl adds, grinning. She has star earrings and a red-white-and-blue headband.

Sam nods, smiling fondly at her. "And this is story about how Bucky, Steve, Natasha and I became parents."

America looks slightly smug. She's wearing Bucky's sweater over Steve's leather jacket.

* * *

Chewie, Redwing, and Kirby get into a fight. This fight goes on Carol's YouTube channel. That's expected.

What's _not_ expected is for the cat, the bird, and the coyote to come to a truce afterwards, and declare war on Tony Stark.

Most of the Avengers are incredibly amused by this.

Tony Stark, most definitely, is not.

* * *

The video of Hulk and She-Hulk fist bumping is epic enough to be featured on actual news channels as well as YouTube.

Jen and Bruce think that the comments section on YouTube is more polite about it than official reporters, however.

"They do realize we're cousins, right?" Jen asks, squinting at the news anchor. "Did he really just imply that you donated your bone marrow to me so you could find someone to mate with?"

"I believe he did," Bruce looks green, but not in the Hulk way.

"I don't understand people," Jen says. "Do you think if I bring a god home tonight they'll stop talking about this?"

"Thor lives here already," Bruce says.

"Oh, I know. I have a date with Hercules tonight, and I might bring him home." Jen grins in a manner that can only be described as lecherously.

"Hercules is real now too?"

"Apparently."

"Our lives, Jen."

"I know, Cuz."

* * *

"Who is this 'Neil Gaiman', and why must I read his novel?" Thor asks, looking up at Darcy.

"You're _not_ going to read 'American Gods'," Jane says immediately. "_No_."

Thor frowns. "Is that not what we named this web series?"

"It's a reference. To that book. Which you aren't going to read. Think, 'Supernatural', but even worse," Darcy says.

Thor frowns. "More unkind fictionalization of my family?"

"Exactly." Darcy and Jane nod.

Thor shrugs his shoulders and goes back to reading his email.

* * *

America, Kate, Tommy, Billy, Eli, and Cassie goes as the Avengers for Halloween. The photo is simply adorable, and is promptly posted to Twitter and Facebook.

America is Captain America. Kate is Hawkeye. Tommy is Iron Man. Billy is Thor. Cassie is Black Widow. Eli is Falcon. They have stuffed animals dressed up to fill in the missing Avengers.

It's the Avengers' most liked and favorited photo on Twitter and Facebook.


End file.
